Rant of the Day
Today's rant is sponsered by the TSA.
For those of you that don't know me, I've been paralyzed by a fear of flying for the past couple of years. It came on suddenly when I moved back to E-town from Vancouver. I annoy everyone with this fear, no one is immune.
After flying so much over the past few weeks my fear has turned into extreme annoyance. Annoyance with smelling like other peoples' breath, turbulence, delays, dehydration... the list is endless. The least uncomfortable flight path I've discovered so far is the trip between E-town and Chicago with United on my favourite plane, the CRJ. Sure, it's cramped but the Colorado based flight crew that runs it is second to none. Yesterday the donkeys at O'Hare tried to re-route us to Bismarck, North Dakota stating that it was a necessary diversion due to weather. Oh how I would have loved to be stuck in North Dakota last night. Our pilots radioed back stating that according to their calculations, Alberta's weather was fine, and "screw you guys, we're crossing the border!" With the exception of take-off and landing, the actual flight was smoother than I've experienced in a long time. Unlike our trips to and from Vegas. The jackscrew nearly failed us into Pittsburgh. It was mighty harrowing. My poor fiancee had to deal with my psychotic episode. He's a keeper!
What's a jackscrew you might ask? This is a question that requires further research because I've received conflicting reports. It seems that my Canadian aviaphiles saw a show about a commercial jet's "jackscrew" failing and flipping the plane. J's brother in law however, (a card carrying commercial pilot) has never heard of such a device. What are your thoughts/intelligence?
My experience going through security at O'Hare has generally involved getting yelled at and pushed through a herd of cattle in a very efficient manner. Yesterday they weren't as busy so the white shirt on duty took a moment to comment on my Virginia Tech Hokies t-shirt, asking me how I felt about their quarterback (Marcus Vick) getting kicked off the team. Clever. BTW, college t-shirts are comfortable and appropriate attire for any voyage.
In short, I've always hated loud machines, especially those filled with gallon upon gallon of jet fuel. I don't think that will change anytime soon but I think I'm starting to get control of my psychosis. Though I'm sure planes and or flying will be mentioned in many future updates. If only I could have my own private F-18. For some reason they don't scare me.