8 or 9 weeks

Mini-me (or J) has a heartbeat!

The Case for Hector Berlioz

This is a shot at 8 weeks..... well, two days shy actually but because Jim is arriving on Tuesday, I thought I'd take this opportunity to show an update. As you can see, not much change.

I'm not as nauseous these days. Just in the mornings and I think that's mostly because I haven't eaten in 7 or 8 hours and my body seems to need to have a bite or two of something every 2 or 3 hours. It's at night I feel the worst. I get cramps, chills, and have a hard time getting to sleep.

I tire pretty quickly. If I plan to go to the gym and run errands on base, that's pretty much all I can plan for one day. If I need to clean the entire house (like today), then outings aren't such a good idea. From what I understand, this will past in 4-5 weeks.

I've taken the opportunity these past few solitary weeks to rediscover various CDs in my collection. I've become re-obsessed with Berlioz's pseudo-opera, "Romeo & Juliet." I played it a few years ago with the symphony and fell instantly in love. Though bizarre, I find it to be absolutely soul-wrenching. I'm thinking of ordering the viola part or the score to re-learn it. It's pretty hard but hard in a fun way.....yes, there is such a thing. I'll obviously just be learning it for my own enjoyment as I don't forsee it hitting any audition lists any time soon.

Another gem in my collection is Keith Jarrett's recording of Handel suites for harpsichord, though he plays them on the piano. You should check it out.

I still haven't decided where I'm going to take Jim. I'm kind of limited in terms of places I feel comfortable driving. I'm going to pick up a lot of beer for him tomorrow and that should significantly reduce the amount of hours I have to entertain him. So we'll probably just chill most of the week before we head to Hungary next Sunday. I can just imagine what our Italian neighbours will be thinking when they see this strange man staying with me, knowing that my husband hasn't been around for weeks. And then in a couple of months they will notice that I'm pregnant and will rumors ever fly! Rumors I'm not privy too, so really, who cares. Don't worry, J thinks it's funny too.

I also have a doctor's appointment this week. I think they'll be listening for a heartbeat this time. So I guess I'll find out for sure whether or not this is real.

I'm not sure if I'll post this week, so if not, I'll see you all after the 14th of August. Hopefully with many tall tales from the hills of Transylvania and of J and Jim's drunken antics. Not mine, obviously. ~Sniff~, I miss you alcohol.

The World Vs. Me

How many Italians does it take to paint the upper edge of a wall at the gym?

Apparently four: one to paint intermittently and three to stand around chatting and fooling around on the nearby elliptical machines. There's your tax dollar at work, all you American readers.

Hmmm..... paint fumes and heavy breathing. If this kid comes out with an IQ less than 150 I'm suing the navy.

Right after I sue the Canadian government. For sending my tax assessment and refund cheque to Iran. No seriously.... they-sent-it-to-Iran. Even after I attached a letter to my return clearly giving them two mailing options, one to Canada, one to a US military address. Did I mention that from this instruction they deduced that I actually meant Iran? So someone in a country of which the western world is mighty suspicious these days possibly has my Canadian social, my address, my birthdate and my husband's name. In Iran. How many no-fly lists are you on?

Top Ten Things That Make Me Want to Wretch

Okay, I promise to lighten up on the prego posts after today. Maybe only one per week, maybe with a growing belly shot once it starts growing. Maybe. But for now, with J off flitting around eastern Europe, this is the only excitement in my life. So all of you non-baby types will just have to swallow it for the time being.

10. The smell of whatever I ate the previous day lingering in the kitchen air.

9. The smell of sunscreen on other people. My sunscreen is okay on me, but for some reason when all the kiddies come back to the change room from the pool I find myself suffocating in an SPF stench.

8. The thought of whatever I ate the previous day.

7. Cleaning supplies. In the gym. In my house. Any and all cleaning supplies. Needless to say my house is absolutely disgusting. Before I get any emails or comments about how I should buy the "safe" or "alternative" kind, the kind you would buy at a store called Organic Roots or something, I'll let you all know now that I used to buy those all the time back when I lived in a country that had such stores. Now, no such stores, no such products. I'm stuck with lysol-esque nastiness or its Italian equivalent. Usually I just use vinegar.

6. The smell of vinegar.

5. The idea of eating goulash every day for 3 weeks. Sure I like it when I'm not pregnant, but for three weeks? With a devilish grape-sized being inside me messing up my culinary tastes?

4. The smell of fire. You laugh, I know you're laughing, thinking "where on earth would she smell fire in the summer? Has she taken up fire-fighting as a hobby?" This is Sicily, my scoffing friends. There is fire everywhere, all the time. Sicilians burn anything and everything. Wherever they feel like it. So I often wake up to the putrid smell wafting in through my patio doors.

3. The idea that this could get worse before it gets better.

2. The smell of Subway. I used to love Subway. Now it's revolting.

And the number one things that makes me want to wretch these days is..... the smell of our tap water. I am especially disgusted when I shower and then the disgust follows me throughout the day and night when I get smelly reminders emanating from my hair and bedsheets. So much for ever feeling clean.

More Food and Booze than a Hungarian Wedding

You already saw the photo of the "bar" we set up for the martini party. Sadly, most of that is still in our house, destined to be consumed in sips by J and visiting house guests, instead of by the gallon, by me. I've never had this much alcohol in my house at one time and it would break my heart on a daily basis if it weren't for the fact that my bumbling tummy has absolutely no desire for alcohol. Or caffeine. I quit drinking coffee weeks ago, just like that. One day we will again be living in proximity to Starbucks so my taste for coffee had better return!

We, and by we I mean I, since J is gone, also have a ridiculous amount of food in the fridge and cupboards. Why? Because every day I can only stomach the idea of one thing. One food item that I either haven't had in a long time or didn't ever like in the first place. And this craving lasts one day. The next day, this same food item that I thought I would die if I did without, is suddenly the most vile thing ever conceived of. So I have tons of packages and containes with only one serving consumed. Hopefully when Jim comes I will be able to shove most of the leftovers down his gullet in order to alleviate my wasteful guilt.

Food I was obsessed with before pregnancy, like vegetable pitas, are also now completely repulsive. Instead I have days where I want spaghetti or other such pasta dishes. J said the other day after I told him I had eaten a "Michelina's" pasta dish for dinner, "if ever there was a doubt you were pregnant..... this just confirms it." I don't like pasta. I haven't eaten it in years. Yes, even though I live in Italy.

Today I actually made it out of the house to check the mail and go to the gym. I had pretty sever nausea this morning, making me think that today would be the day that I actually throw up. So far these hours and agonizing nausea have no yet resulted in expulsion which I sometimes think is worse. My mom says that when she was pregnant with me, she would get up, throw up, and go about her day. But though I haven't barfed, somehow eating smaller, more frequent and weirder meals, has made me lose weight instead of gain it. So at least there's that. Not that I'm able to truly enjoy it though with looser fitting clothes. My bloatiness pretty much counters any weight loss in how my clothes fit.

Usually by about 9 pm, though, the nausea subsides and is replaced by a headache, bloaty cramps and the relentless urge to pee. Even right after I pee.

But like I said, today is better. And tonight's menu is chicken noodle soup and nutella. And probably some fruit. Fruit has been the only constant in my diet which makes me very thankful that I'm going through this upsetting first trimester in the summer when my favourite fruits like cherries, nectarines and grapes are available.

1er Cycle

And it continues. I had a couple of days after I finished the antibiotics that were nausea free-hooray!- but it's back. And I'm really annoyed. I don't like being house-bound..... especially when J is away working in a former Soviet country. I guess these are the woes of the first trimester from what everyone is telling me. Oh, and did I mention that hormones? Crying at every little thing. I wouldn't call it mood swings exactly, because my mood doesn't do a whole lot of upswinging ces jours-ci. Of course it didn't help that I caught the movie, "Wit" on TV the other day. I'm sure that would make even the most hormoneless person sob their eyeballs out. It's a beautifully done tragedy is what it is. Why I kept watching I have no idea.

It's not all doom and frequent trips to the bathroom though, I do have glimpses of excitement when I realize what this is all leading up to. And I found a doula in the area (nothing short of a miracle, really) that is available to help me work towards a natural, interference-free, birth, something I've always wanted. So these are good things.

In un-pregnancy news, I just found out Pharrell Williams, one of the most beautiful and brilliant men on the planet, is from Virginia Beach. I knew there was a reason I loved Virginia! And someday I may own a house there. And maybe he will come back to visit his old "hood." And maybe we will meet. And hopefully by then I won't still be nauseous and throw up on his four thousand dollar sneakers.

Blech

I know I know, I dropped a bomb last post and have since abandoned further updates. I apologize. Thing is, I've been extremely nauseous and virtually couch-bound for the past week due to antibiotics rather than pregnancy I suspect. I hate drugs. It's kind of a horrible story as to why I'm on them... I'll share later.

In addition to my body rejecting anything and everything foreign, it was over 100F earlier this week... for you Canadians... about 45C. Since I overheat faster these days and our computer room doesn't have air conditioning (expensive wherever it is though) I have had further obstacles to posting and emailing back the numerous friends that have sent congrats messages. Once my body calms down I promise to respond!

J leaves this week and I won't see him again until he meets up with Jim and I in Budapest. I honestly don't know what I'll do without him if I keep feeling this way. He has been amazing. Beyond amazing. But I'm going to keep thinking that this week will be better... that I'll return to my vigorous gym activity and leisurely pool visits. I have to, if for no other reason than to keep me sane.

Since my health has been completely messed up on drugs, I can't really say for sure if I'm experiencing any pregnancy symptoms. Today was the last pill so by the end of the week I should have a better idea as the what the f is going on.

Happy Canada Day!