Nadia: Version 0.1

Miss N is now a month old but enough about her, back to me.

Since delivery I feel like I have lost about 50 IQ points. It seems that hormonal disruptions of neural functioning affects even the smartest person in the world. Yes, it's true. This was all too evident last night when we were out with J's coworkers. I watched in horror (almost like an out-of-body/mind experience) as I made the most mundane comments to conversation topics. Easily distracted by Nadia's grunts from below in the car seat, I was hardly able to offer the quick comebacks I once produced easily. This does not bode well for the April reunion I will be having with old smarty pants friends. The things they don't tell you.

They also don't tell you a lot about recovering from abdominal surgery. Sure I knew it sucked and didn't want it, but I don't think I was prepared for just how much it sucks. (Mind you I only had about 20 minutes to prepare for it!) And just how slow it is. Four weeks later, today was the first day I drove. The first day Nadia and I went out together. How depressing is that? And now, after no physical activity for a month, I am in terrible shape. I can't wait to get back to exercising.... even if it's ridiculously slow! Maybe this weekend I can start a brisk walking routine. Maybe.

Ok, back to the little darling. Said little darling has developed baby acne. I don't think there's much we can do. I try to keep her as clean as possible but it's hard what with her having her morning spit-up sessions and lathering her entire face and head with breastmilk all day. Mmmm. I guess we'll just have to wait it out.

On a positive note, she has started sleeping much better at night and even a bit during the day. Perhaps she was having a growth spurt between weeks 2 and 3. Last night, for example, she slept for 5 hours straight! I hope this continues.... I'm much less psychotic this way....mostly. Speaking of which, she has been sleeping since the car ride home so I should try to do the same. That is all.

3.5 Weeks Old

My daughter the billy goat.

Homeland

For those of you that I missed on my email list, we are Virginia/Canada bound! I can't wait! We will be in Virginia from April 18-21 and then Etown from the 22 to 28. This, of course, relies on miss N's passport arriving in time, but we were assured that it would be rushed through the system and if all else fails, one of us can go pick it up in Naples. So clear your calendars, Nadia's excited to meet everyone.... can't you tell by the picture?

I'm still recovering.... not sure when I'll get to writing a birth story, still waiting on details from my doula, not sure if I will post it when I do. But I am willing to share the fact that it was 40 hours of labour (30 or so hours unmedicated) that led to meconium in the spontaneously broken waters, a fever/infection, erratic (200-below 100-stopping? occasionally) fetal heart rate- this according to the super accurate internal monitor- and eventually a c-section. Pretty much everything I didn't want. Hence the slow-a** recovery. But I take comfort in the fact that I was able to go so long without drugs (I attribute this mostly to the tremendous support given by J and our doula) and next time, if things proceed normally and if there is a next time, I'm pretty sure I would be able to do the entire process naturally. In case anyone is wondering and counterintuitively, I progressed the fastest and the most once I was medicated... I guess by that point my body needed the rest in order to function.

Considering the stress and health hazards she went through, Nadia is doing fine and seems to be very healthy. Her jaundice is all but gone and she is gaining an appropriate amount of weight. By some miracle she has been sleepy today unlike most days (that's the thing with super alert babies.....they're all "I wanna learn stuff.... I don't want to miss anything.... don't you dare talk about me behind my back") when it seems that she is permanently latched on to me, making my life rather difficult and, I know I'm not supposed to say it, boring. Especially considering I can't yet use the sling (abdomen still sensitive) so am bed/couch-bound and I seem to have been injured in an IV attempt (I have bad veins, so was poked way too many times) or developed carpal tunnel in my left wrist, making it painful to hold her for hours on end.

I'm trying to be zen about getting back into shape. I know I can't push it and for once in my life I have to be patient. I'm going to try not to weigh myself until I am well enough to do something about it......we'll see how long that resolve lasts. Fortunately we don't have a scale in our house. But my tummy, while a bit squishy (probably won't be hard again until I can do sit-ups), is nearly flat. So that's something.

Anyway, for the most part we are happy. It is an amazing thing, meeting, and raising a human being. It still hasn't sunk in that we made her. That I grew her. That she is ours.

New Mama

We're still alive, as I type with one hand, I plan to do a real post soon, as soon as this child decides that sleeping is her friend.

New Daddy

These Are My Parents?!

Post-first-home-scrub-down. (Can't give her a real bath until her cord stubby falls off.)

The Road to Nadia

Yes, she's here. Nadia Sophie arrived Thursday, February 28, 2008 at 10:12 AM. Besides a brief bout with jaundice, she is doing extremely well. She weighed 7 lbs, 1 ounce at birth and is working very hard to increase that. She is feeding like a ravenous... something... baby, I guess, and we couldn't be happier. We are so in love with her and can't get over that she is ours.

I've had a lot of questions as to "how it went." Well, pretty much everything that could go wrong during labour, did. I will save the details for some other time but suffice it to say I have been poisoned, butchered, and run over by several dump trucks. Fortunately I am emotionally a.o.k.- something I attribute exclusively to how happy I am to have her and how wonderful my husband/nurse/friend/shrink has been. Physically, however, I am destroyed. Please don't feel sorry for me or send me your pity. Physical wounds can heal and the important thing is that everyone is at peace and enjoying life. No one is to blame, none of this could have been avoided, it is simply my story.

Because of my slow recuperation I probably won't be online much in the next while, especially once J goes back to work next week. So I apologize for my lack of posts. I will write and upload more pictures as soon as I am comfortably able.